Tuesday, October 23, 2007
I'm Glad That I'm Not Alone
I refer to my tendency to be disoriented in shopping environments. I was at the grocery store on tuesday night to refuel for dota, when I remembered that we were out of chocolates. I couldn't find the row for a while, but when I arrived, I saw several older men, just as disoriented as I was, meandering up and down the food storage aisle as if they were condemned to purgatory. The only way to atone for their sins would be to find the items they were looking for, a happy ending that did not seem on the horizon. No one was happy to be there. We were all drones, awaiting commands from the queen bee. Unfortunately, the source of the queen's commands is also what is causing so many bees to drop dead around the world. This only complicates things, as you can imagine. I joined in the dance and snatched some brand of chocolates, only to be disgusted at their price. I decided it would be more economical to buy cookies.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
An experiment
I remember an experiment I tried years ago. It started in high school as an eccentricity and carried over into my first years in uni. Here was the deal:
People shook hands with me all the time, even when a handshake wasn't merited. It seemed like the handshake was an awkward space filler in conversation. The value of the handshake was at an all-time low. So my idea was, when someone tried to shake hands with me and a hearty handshake was not warranted, I would shake their hand with only two fingers. Each person with whom I shook hands in this way immediately knew that something was awry. I unapologetically offered a simple explanation: "The value of the handshake has gone down, and I am going to bring it back." Weird looks. Avoidance. But the point was made.
Over time, people just seemed to accept this quirk. I broke the experiment sometimes as necessary (for instance, job interviews and other venues where such treatment would be seen as disrespectful ["When in Rome..."]) or to demarcate special occasions: birthdays, weddings, funerals. But I stuck to my guns for the most part. And Truth (note the capital T) won out. One arbitrary day, I decided the experiment was over. I shook hands normally, and people noticed. In fact, to this day, I still sometimes receive comments like, "Wow! A real handshake!" (Granted, not as often as at first.) I'd like to take this response as a sign of success.
Why do I say this now?
There is a new--or, at least, unresolved--evil in our world: Gratuitous use of the exclamation point. (This post is not addressed against the occasional exclamation point user; please do not take this personally [unless, of course, you use exclamation points needlessly and this applies directly to you; in that case, please remove the 1 key from your keyboard and start using Roman numerals].) This evil is perpetuated by online communications, mostly, or by overenthusiastic people. I don't care who you are--life is not so exciting that every sentence merits an exclamation point.
However, even one exclamation point ending every sentence is not my main grievance. What has come about in our culture is the need to multiply exclamation points, making one exclamation point lose its purpose (to add special emphasis to a thought). An analogy will serve us well here: Years ago, on my Christmas lists, I used a star method to evaluate the want-level for certain items. A lego set might receive five stars, whereas the clothes my mother made me put on the list would receive one. Regardless, by using multiple stars on each item, all the stars lost their value, and I often wound up receiving sweaters (the bane of a young boy wanting to be "cool," especially when all his friends were getting Lego pirate ships and stuff).
A similar thing is happening with exclamation points: It is no longer enough to end a sentence with one exclamation point to show excitement. One exclamation point is viewed as humdrum. It elicits the response, "Oh, that bad, huh?" rather than, "I'm so happy for you^" With more and more exclamation points being necessary to show enthusiasm, I think we all can see where this is leading. Full pages eventually will be exclamation points following a single sentence, just so the reader is assured that the writer is, in fact, happy.
Therefore, I propose to no longer use an exclamation point unless it is merited. However, as this will make me appear cold (and I'm not), I propose to substitute the exclamation point of politeness (e.g., "Hello!" or "Have a great day!") with a new character: ^ (e.g., "Hello^" or "Have a nice day^"). Perhaps in this small way, I can undo the seemingly irreparable damage to our language.
Have a great day^ Use exclamation points responsibly!*
People shook hands with me all the time, even when a handshake wasn't merited. It seemed like the handshake was an awkward space filler in conversation. The value of the handshake was at an all-time low. So my idea was, when someone tried to shake hands with me and a hearty handshake was not warranted, I would shake their hand with only two fingers. Each person with whom I shook hands in this way immediately knew that something was awry. I unapologetically offered a simple explanation: "The value of the handshake has gone down, and I am going to bring it back." Weird looks. Avoidance. But the point was made.
Over time, people just seemed to accept this quirk. I broke the experiment sometimes as necessary (for instance, job interviews and other venues where such treatment would be seen as disrespectful ["When in Rome..."]) or to demarcate special occasions: birthdays, weddings, funerals. But I stuck to my guns for the most part. And Truth (note the capital T) won out. One arbitrary day, I decided the experiment was over. I shook hands normally, and people noticed. In fact, to this day, I still sometimes receive comments like, "Wow! A real handshake!" (Granted, not as often as at first.) I'd like to take this response as a sign of success.
Why do I say this now?
There is a new--or, at least, unresolved--evil in our world: Gratuitous use of the exclamation point. (This post is not addressed against the occasional exclamation point user; please do not take this personally [unless, of course, you use exclamation points needlessly and this applies directly to you; in that case, please remove the 1 key from your keyboard and start using Roman numerals].) This evil is perpetuated by online communications, mostly, or by overenthusiastic people. I don't care who you are--life is not so exciting that every sentence merits an exclamation point.
However, even one exclamation point ending every sentence is not my main grievance. What has come about in our culture is the need to multiply exclamation points, making one exclamation point lose its purpose (to add special emphasis to a thought). An analogy will serve us well here: Years ago, on my Christmas lists, I used a star method to evaluate the want-level for certain items. A lego set might receive five stars, whereas the clothes my mother made me put on the list would receive one. Regardless, by using multiple stars on each item, all the stars lost their value, and I often wound up receiving sweaters (the bane of a young boy wanting to be "cool," especially when all his friends were getting Lego pirate ships and stuff).
A similar thing is happening with exclamation points: It is no longer enough to end a sentence with one exclamation point to show excitement. One exclamation point is viewed as humdrum. It elicits the response, "Oh, that bad, huh?" rather than, "I'm so happy for you^" With more and more exclamation points being necessary to show enthusiasm, I think we all can see where this is leading. Full pages eventually will be exclamation points following a single sentence, just so the reader is assured that the writer is, in fact, happy.
Therefore, I propose to no longer use an exclamation point unless it is merited. However, as this will make me appear cold (and I'm not), I propose to substitute the exclamation point of politeness (e.g., "Hello!" or "Have a great day!") with a new character: ^ (e.g., "Hello^" or "Have a nice day^"). Perhaps in this small way, I can undo the seemingly irreparable damage to our language.
Have a great day^ Use exclamation points responsibly!*
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