Rook

Bleary-eyed, the fan is buzzing over the soft piano tone that rings around the hall. Deep in thought, our protagonist is split between the decision of keeping the water running and calling it a 36-hour day sometime during the mid-afternoon, or falling asleep in a couple hours until the mid-afternoon. I look hipsterish enough [hipster = the pinnacle of douche-baggery]. A long-overdue trip to easy street records is in order. I like to think that I have my head screwed on straight, but I am capable of being vaguely self-destructive. I didn't get to sleep until about 4am, because not only was I sort of freaking out over something, I was proud of myself for keeping cool about for the past few days, but because I think I may have developed a slight dependency on her, although I’ve scaled down my dosages significantly.

Rook is one of the card games that my family played. While other families were playing the less-fun, easier, and generally worse Euchre, we were bidding, taking the nest, and sneaking the ill-omened rook card in for the greatest effect (because the rook card is, of course, the highest valued and least powerfuly trump). When discussing card games, I describe Euchre as wannabe Rook.

The worst in my grandma comes out when we play Rook. Rook turns my grandma, normally a sweet, harmless woman, into a vengeful, out-for-blood card shark. Once when I trumped her trick, she called me a louse, a remark that still burns to this day. And despite her being older, her mind is still sharp enough to consistently set her brash young grandson even when his bids are modest. Sigh.

Anyway, why talk about Rook? Because it has some of the best marketing copy ever. Seriously. I wish I could write like this (as you read, read with a raspy, dramatic voice):

"A Blaze of Lightning. A wind turned cold. Beware the power of the Rook. The eerie black bird can make all the difference. Four players (options for two, three, five, or six). Partner or not. You bid. You name trump. You take tricks (when you're lucky or smart). But beware the wild ROOK! When he lands, anything can change.

"A classic game. Easier than bridge. More challenging than Hearts. Custom-designed cards. Gorgeous. Perfect for a dark, stormy night. Bring home the ROOK card game and find out."